After my realization last week that my work here in China will not ever be a source of happiness, I needed to turn over a new leaf, and remember and find the things in my life that do make me happy. The past year or so I've given all my efforts to try and make my career work in China. I've been passionate as always, done the right thing in all situations, and stayed late, done work beyond what I was hired to do, etc. Still, I have not made much progress in helping the children at the schools because the people I have been working for are not in education to do the right thing for children.
So I have to just let go. I go into work, do what's asked of me, and get out when it's time to go. I feel strange not have motivation at work, but when I started to see the other parts of my life take a back seat, I knew that I needed to regain myself.
Last week I began doing p90x. It's a workout system which they say works because of "muscle confusion." That's just another term for cross training. It's a 90 day program that has various activities for cardio along with the strength training including a yoga workout that's pretty good I must say. The sequencing is a bit off, but they do a good job of teaching and demonstrating good yoga asana for the masses. Anyways, my workout routine for the past one year has been just bare minimum and so my body has been showing that. I've lost so much muscle tone and am bigger than I've ever been. So I'm taking back my body. And it feels good. I'm sore almost every single day but one thing I've learned from yoga is to remember my limits. So my soreness is not debilitating. I'm walking a little weird this morning because my legs are sore, but it's a good feeling. My legs feel strong and like they have worked ... hard.
Basically, this program is just changing it up for me. It's different exercises that's shaking up my muscles. The videos are motivating and the absolute best part is that it's all free! In America, if you buy the dvds, nutrition plan, workout charts, etc. it costs about $200. But thanks to youku.com and the fact that there are no copyright laws in China that are enforced, all the videos are posted and I can just stream them on my laptop. Which is good because I take my laptop to the gym and use the free weights and benches when I need them during the workouts. p90x is also available on Youtube.com for all of you in America, but I think because of youtube's rules, you can't post the entire video at once so it's broken up and that would not be the best when you are trying to workout to have to keep switching and loading different videos. Still, it's better than paying full price.
I also found the p90x+ in the dvd shop while we were in Beijing so I've got that for after I finish the p90x program. These five dvds are even harder workouts for when you have gotten through the first program.
Now I've just got to work on my diet which will be difficult knowing that Christmas is just around the corner. And not to mention that Chase joined me yesterday to do the Legs and Back workout and we went to dinner famished after and had cheese fondue. YIKES. I know, not the best idea if you're trying to get into shape.. hahhah. Anyways, it's been years since I've had fondue of any sort. I will just try and keep it lean for the next couple of weeks. I have noticed I'm eating smaller meals, and more of them and when I do that it's easier to choose healthy food to eat because I'm not gorging on bad food (salty or sweet) because I'm starving. So that's good.
The other new thing I started to do recently was eat peanut butter! I used to eat so many PB&J sandwiches when I was a kid that one day in elementary school, I just couldn't eat peanut butter anymore. It would just make me sick. So I've avoided anything with peanut butter in it for my whole life except for peanut sauces, peanut dressings, and actual roasted peanuts. So now I've gotten back to eating peanut butter. I still can't eat peanut cookies, peanut ice cream, or anything else, but I'm enjoying eatin PB&Js for lunch again. I think it was a mental obstacle for me so I'm glad to be over that hurdle.
So a lot of change over here and it's good to have a different focus in my life and not worry so much about my work. Chase and I are going hiking these weekend on Baochu hill, going to dinner with friends, bowling, getting massages, and putting up Christmas lights.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Walking to Work
So, if you haven't heard, my work situation in Hangzhou has been quite..... Chinese. Can't say more than that, but I will say that I do hope we have seen the worst and there will only be improvement. I am hopeful.
However, it's when I'm walking to work that I fall into a vicious downward spiral. The walk is about 25 minutes and every morning I wake up chirpy and happy as can be. But as I start the walk to work, my mood descends with every step. I start thinking about everything, my situation, what needs to be done, etc. and by the time I get to work, I'm pouty, unmotivated, and apathetic to it all.
So two days ago I tried actively reversing that downward spiral by thinking happy thoughts and wishes for everyone I passed. I began this without thinking how many people are in Asia and that it would be... too many. I gave them each a happy vibe, a good thought, prayer, or just smiled. Within a few minutes I was feeling lighter myself, the muscles on my face totally relaxed. In fact, they underwent this transformation and my eyes became wider and more clear. It was amazing to me how much tension I hold in my face. Perhaps that's why we all get wrinkles so easily these days. By the end of the walk I was a bit exhausted because of the creative energies I had to spend to think of new things for every person I passed. So tomorrow I will try just thinking the same happy prayer to each person. A blanket prayer for all. We'll see if that helps my attitude for when I go to work each day.
However, it's when I'm walking to work that I fall into a vicious downward spiral. The walk is about 25 minutes and every morning I wake up chirpy and happy as can be. But as I start the walk to work, my mood descends with every step. I start thinking about everything, my situation, what needs to be done, etc. and by the time I get to work, I'm pouty, unmotivated, and apathetic to it all.
So two days ago I tried actively reversing that downward spiral by thinking happy thoughts and wishes for everyone I passed. I began this without thinking how many people are in Asia and that it would be... too many. I gave them each a happy vibe, a good thought, prayer, or just smiled. Within a few minutes I was feeling lighter myself, the muscles on my face totally relaxed. In fact, they underwent this transformation and my eyes became wider and more clear. It was amazing to me how much tension I hold in my face. Perhaps that's why we all get wrinkles so easily these days. By the end of the walk I was a bit exhausted because of the creative energies I had to spend to think of new things for every person I passed. So tomorrow I will try just thinking the same happy prayer to each person. A blanket prayer for all. We'll see if that helps my attitude for when I go to work each day.
Beijing Part 2
Saturday: We decided to go to karaoke after our big meal and we picked a pretty well known chain called "Melody"... in English at least. It's a massive four story KTV venue and there are only private rooms as is the custom in Asia. So we booked a room with a minimum alcohol requirement, which was a bottle and a mystery drink and several mixers. The room we got had a leather sectional, huge coffee table and big plasma. Once I shook off the nerves, I was belting out some tunes. I had fun, but would fall asleep on the couch every few songs and wake back up for one I liked. Jim, our French friend, was alive! He had dance moves for every song he sang and he kept us entertained. At one point, we went out in the hallway with the mic and serenaded a few guests that were on their way in, or out, not sure.
Sunday: I was anxious to wake up because there was talk of going to one of my favorite restaurants in Beijing, Maison Boulud by Daniel Boulud for brunch. But that was quickly squashed when no one else seemed to stir before 11am and I had another appointment at 2pm. Ben even made reservations, but no one in the Fernando household was prepared. Anyways, we had a great cozy brunch in a little hutong in Nanlouguxiang instead. Fernando recommended this place after he had walked in and seen "egg, bacon, and mayonnaise sandwich" written on the chalkboard. And there it was so Chase and him ordered one each and then split another with twice the bacon and twice the eggs. Nothing screams, "gimme comfort food" than that. I had a tasty asparagus sandwich (sounds strange, but it was good and garlicky) and shared a pot of tea with BeiBei. Next, Chase and I headed over to Costa Coffee in the Raffles City mall to meet some of my old co-workers for tea. The mall is quite nice and it was opening the week we left Beijing so we didn't get a chance to visit. But it's a great space with middle-range stores that I can afford. Most of the other western malls in the city are top-end luxury brands only. I had a great time chatting and catching up on my friends' lives in Beijing since we've been gone. They both have children who were in my class so I always like to hear about their progress because with teaching I literally form huge bonds with children in my class like they are my own so it's good to know how they are doing.
We fit in a quick appointment at the tanning salon and then I was off to the airport. So that's the end of the Beijing trip. What I liked the most was that I got to relax. There's something about going to a different city. You can't check email or get sucked into surfing the internet for a couple hours. We slept soundly, woke up, read our books in bed, and did what we wanted all day and spent times with friends.
Sunday: I was anxious to wake up because there was talk of going to one of my favorite restaurants in Beijing, Maison Boulud by Daniel Boulud for brunch. But that was quickly squashed when no one else seemed to stir before 11am and I had another appointment at 2pm. Ben even made reservations, but no one in the Fernando household was prepared. Anyways, we had a great cozy brunch in a little hutong in Nanlouguxiang instead. Fernando recommended this place after he had walked in and seen "egg, bacon, and mayonnaise sandwich" written on the chalkboard. And there it was so Chase and him ordered one each and then split another with twice the bacon and twice the eggs. Nothing screams, "gimme comfort food" than that. I had a tasty asparagus sandwich (sounds strange, but it was good and garlicky) and shared a pot of tea with BeiBei. Next, Chase and I headed over to Costa Coffee in the Raffles City mall to meet some of my old co-workers for tea. The mall is quite nice and it was opening the week we left Beijing so we didn't get a chance to visit. But it's a great space with middle-range stores that I can afford. Most of the other western malls in the city are top-end luxury brands only. I had a great time chatting and catching up on my friends' lives in Beijing since we've been gone. They both have children who were in my class so I always like to hear about their progress because with teaching I literally form huge bonds with children in my class like they are my own so it's good to know how they are doing.
We fit in a quick appointment at the tanning salon and then I was off to the airport. So that's the end of the Beijing trip. What I liked the most was that I got to relax. There's something about going to a different city. You can't check email or get sucked into surfing the internet for a couple hours. We slept soundly, woke up, read our books in bed, and did what we wanted all day and spent times with friends.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Beijing and Back
It's 10:30pm on Monday night and I should be going to bed but I know that if I don't post about our weekend, I will not get it done for another week. Not that I'm terribly busy at work (as some of you may know with my awesome half-days), but I have fine tuned the art of procrastination.
So no pics as promised from Beijing. The camera was the one thing we forgot to pack. I did pack a checked bag because I knew I would be doing a good amount of shopping and bringing home a full bag. I went to the Indian store and brought back some spices (although they confiscated the pickle I bought because I forgot and packed it in my hand luggage, arg) and dhals. So hopefully I will gain some courage in the next week and try to cook some Indian food.
So maybe a better way is to outline the weekend for you:
Friday: We were running late and trying to catch a cab during the time of day that the shift change occurs. Get this, Hangzhou has decided that shift change for cab drivers should be normal work rush hour... That is from 4-5pm. So you are out of luck if you want to go anywhere during that time and that's usually when I'm commuting. So we found a cab who was in the middle of his shift change but took pity on us foreigners. He mumbled something about how we would just have to pay 100RMB, he wasn't going to run the meter because it was shift change time, etc. I thought I understood everything until we started winding down some narrow streets just off the highway that we were supposed to be on. Finally, we get to a bridge where the driver stops gets out and starts talking to another man. Turns out we got to witness our very first Hangzhou taxi cab driver shift change because we were part of it! So, new driver gets in and settles in to his 12 hour shift and we were off to the airport.
Friday evening we got into Beijing, put our bags down at Fernando and BeiBei's apartment and headed to a late dinner at Purple Haze. We don't get good thai food in Hangzhou (a hint to our new-found Thai friends in Hangzhou, maybe they'll invite us over some time if they read this) so Purple Haze hit the spot. We couldn't finish a lot of the food which was a pity, but it was already close to 1am. We (Ben, Fernando, BeiBei included) went to a friends 30th birthday party. Yes, we are all getting older and it's right around the corner for Chase actually. Then we went to a house party in a hutong. This apartment was great, spacious, stained glass windows, etc. We met some fun french people and danced a bit.
Saturday: We woke up and got breakfast/brunch at our favorite bakery in Beijing, Comptoirs de France. They now have six locations and when were there they only had two. So I am quite amazed and happy they have grown. Our favorite location is in China Central Place. Everything about their food, service, and baked goods, is top-notch. We always come home with a treat bag of something yummy afterwards. This time it was two meringue cookies and Christmas cookies- star, tree, reindeer, and snowman. The tree and snowman went to Fernando and BeiBei in thanks for letting us stay with them this weekend. Next Chase and I went to our hair appointments. My hair had a big chunky layer in it from several years ago when I had an awful hair cut and so it was time to finally get my hair to all one length like a normal human. So it was a bit more hair than I'd like to part with but you can still call my hair "long" which is what I want. I can't wait for it to grow out more. Chase is also planning on keeping his hair long and opted to just get it trimmed and some volume taken out of the top and sides where it seems to grow the fastest. Our hair salon in Beijing gives the best head massages. They literally have you in the shampoo chair for about half an hour. Can't get that sort of treatment in the US anywhere I've seen. Other than that, we shopped for DVDs, I got Indian groceries, and we bought a couple of gifts from the market near by. We had lunch at our favorite Middle-Eastern restaurant, Turkish Mum. It was light, healthy, the hummus was so creamy, the tea flavorful, and we just had a great time relaxing. Yes, I really was in relax-mode this weekend. It was great to get out of Hangzhou.
Saturday evening, we read some books, and then made our way to have Thanksgiving Dinner at a local NY style restaurant called Chef Too. The owner is American and they even make their own ice cream. So the meal was a traditional one with all the sides and I even had some turkey to join in the spirit. We arrived late, so the staff was hurrying us through the meal, but I savored every bite.
Alright, my eyes are drooping, so I am stopping here and will recount the story of our trip after I wake up.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
I just got back from trivia night at a place called Vineyard Cafe in Hangzhou. It's not the same as the one in Beijing. That Vineyard is a beautiful restaurant with a great weekend brunch in the middle of some hutongs. I hear that part of Beijing is getting totally revitalized, at least the hutongs are, and that's a good thing because then those structures are saved from demolition and just the construction of modern buildings everywhere.
So our team didn't win at trivia. We have won the last two weeks in a row and we were hoping to make it a hat trick, but lost by half a point. I wasn't quite on my game this evening. I am a bit tired, not just from work, but that after work I regulary work out and then cook dinner. There are times where I don't sit down until about 8:30 at night. So I'm usually up at 6am, so are talking regular 14 hour days.
Tomorrow, Chase and I fly to Beijing to do some shopping, visiting friends, and enjoying some time away from Hangzhou. I think it's going to be great- busy and fun. I will try and take pictures.
So our team didn't win at trivia. We have won the last two weeks in a row and we were hoping to make it a hat trick, but lost by half a point. I wasn't quite on my game this evening. I am a bit tired, not just from work, but that after work I regulary work out and then cook dinner. There are times where I don't sit down until about 8:30 at night. So I'm usually up at 6am, so are talking regular 14 hour days.
Tomorrow, Chase and I fly to Beijing to do some shopping, visiting friends, and enjoying some time away from Hangzhou. I think it's going to be great- busy and fun. I will try and take pictures.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Mysterious Ways
This morning I woke up and had a pity party for myself. I didn't leave the apartment all day yesterday and so the lack of Vitamin D mixed with the noise of people remodeling next door and being sick this past week compounded on top of everything and I just wallowed for about three hours. Chase tried a couple of times to reassure me and I wasn't exactly consolable. I am just plain homesick. I miss my dog, friends, family, familiarity, and the comforts of American life (we are so spoiled in the USA I can't even explain).
This time of year, being away from America and family is also tough. Thanksgiving is around the corner and it is my favorite celebration of the year. The air is crisp, the seasonal food available is hearty and flavorful, and everyone comes together. Chase and I are going up to Beijing this weekend to see friends so I hope that it will cheer me up. Besides that we just have to wait less than one month before we'll be back home for a visit.
In the afternoon, our school hosted a Harvest Party at school and I think that it came together very well. All the staff was helpful and pitched in where ever help was needed. We had games and activities for the children to do and I think that the families of our school had a good time getting to meet. There was tons of food which everyone enjoyed. A couple of people in a family of vegetarians had to leave early as there was nothing for them to eat besides fruit and bread. It's hard to plan the menu when it's potluck. We tried to have a sign-up list, but in China even if someone brings a vegetable side dish it will always have chunks of meat in it. So we will have to plan that better for next time. All in all, though everyone was relaxed and seemed to enjoy our first official school event! So I think I can pat myself on the back for putting that together.
I got some good leftovers to take home for Chase and as I was walking home I noticed a young teen on the sidewalk sitting up against a gated fence to one of the apartment buildings. Chase and I have a rule that we do not donate or give to beggars who have all four limbs and who seem to have a stable mind. It sounds crude, but I believe that if they have all those necessary requirements, then they can join the work force like the rest of us and that any amount of charity will not be what brings them out of their troubles. However, this child was not begging. His arms were wrapped so tightly around his bent legs, his eyes were worried, and I could tell that he was truly lost in this world. I reached into my bag and pulled out some food I was carrying home and gave it to him. He thanked me twice looking deeply into my eyes and I felt the thankfulness from his heart as I passed by. I hope that he is ok. I hope I gave him enough food. It was a protein, so I think that it should have nourished him for at least a day and I hope that he is able to make it in this world and have a peaceful life ahead of him.
It certainly took the spotlight off my troubles of this morning. I was whining and crying and I know I have problems like everyone else, but I've got it pretty good in the end. I have people around me who love me, a way to earn a living, and hobbies and interests that I am pretty proficient at. It is just that somewhere down the line, I have forgotten how strong I am. I have forgotten me since we came to China 15 months ago and it's time to find that inner strength again. I am coming up with a plan on how to do this as I currently work full time so rededicating my efforts to my personal growth is going to take some tricky scheduling and maneuvering so stay tuned.
This time of year, being away from America and family is also tough. Thanksgiving is around the corner and it is my favorite celebration of the year. The air is crisp, the seasonal food available is hearty and flavorful, and everyone comes together. Chase and I are going up to Beijing this weekend to see friends so I hope that it will cheer me up. Besides that we just have to wait less than one month before we'll be back home for a visit.
In the afternoon, our school hosted a Harvest Party at school and I think that it came together very well. All the staff was helpful and pitched in where ever help was needed. We had games and activities for the children to do and I think that the families of our school had a good time getting to meet. There was tons of food which everyone enjoyed. A couple of people in a family of vegetarians had to leave early as there was nothing for them to eat besides fruit and bread. It's hard to plan the menu when it's potluck. We tried to have a sign-up list, but in China even if someone brings a vegetable side dish it will always have chunks of meat in it. So we will have to plan that better for next time. All in all, though everyone was relaxed and seemed to enjoy our first official school event! So I think I can pat myself on the back for putting that together.
I got some good leftovers to take home for Chase and as I was walking home I noticed a young teen on the sidewalk sitting up against a gated fence to one of the apartment buildings. Chase and I have a rule that we do not donate or give to beggars who have all four limbs and who seem to have a stable mind. It sounds crude, but I believe that if they have all those necessary requirements, then they can join the work force like the rest of us and that any amount of charity will not be what brings them out of their troubles. However, this child was not begging. His arms were wrapped so tightly around his bent legs, his eyes were worried, and I could tell that he was truly lost in this world. I reached into my bag and pulled out some food I was carrying home and gave it to him. He thanked me twice looking deeply into my eyes and I felt the thankfulness from his heart as I passed by. I hope that he is ok. I hope I gave him enough food. It was a protein, so I think that it should have nourished him for at least a day and I hope that he is able to make it in this world and have a peaceful life ahead of him.
It certainly took the spotlight off my troubles of this morning. I was whining and crying and I know I have problems like everyone else, but I've got it pretty good in the end. I have people around me who love me, a way to earn a living, and hobbies and interests that I am pretty proficient at. It is just that somewhere down the line, I have forgotten how strong I am. I have forgotten me since we came to China 15 months ago and it's time to find that inner strength again. I am coming up with a plan on how to do this as I currently work full time so rededicating my efforts to my personal growth is going to take some tricky scheduling and maneuvering so stay tuned.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
at home
So it's dreadfully freezing in Hangzhou today. It has been for the past few days and they are predicting snow tonight which is rare for this time of year. It's a result of the cloud seeding that was done over Beijing a few weeks ago that produced the huge snow storm they had up there. And now the weather system is still continuing to produce unseasonable snow in northern China and might reach us tonight. I read on forums that snow was up in the mountains of Zhejiang province last night, but since we are in the city, I'm not sure, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
As for the cloud-seeding, I sincerely hope that karma will get the people who tried to alter Mother Earth's path. Wait, that's wrong of me to think but I am appalled when people try to play God. I know there are people in China that need to be fed and so cloud-seeding will provide rain for crops, but maybe in places like Beijing, which are such an anomaly in why people ever decided to build a city in the middle of a desert, we shouldn't be living. But I did live there last year and loved the city so I'm sounding hypocritical but I stand by my statement.
I came home early because of all the weather change I came down with a bug. It's not horrible, but bad enough that I just want to lay down. So no yoga today which I was looking forward to. I hope Chase will make me some Chinese noodle soup. And I hope it will snow.
As for the cloud-seeding, I sincerely hope that karma will get the people who tried to alter Mother Earth's path. Wait, that's wrong of me to think but I am appalled when people try to play God. I know there are people in China that need to be fed and so cloud-seeding will provide rain for crops, but maybe in places like Beijing, which are such an anomaly in why people ever decided to build a city in the middle of a desert, we shouldn't be living. But I did live there last year and loved the city so I'm sounding hypocritical but I stand by my statement.
I came home early because of all the weather change I came down with a bug. It's not horrible, but bad enough that I just want to lay down. So no yoga today which I was looking forward to. I hope Chase will make me some Chinese noodle soup. And I hope it will snow.
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