It's nice that my work has given me this one week off even though I just started. And I do feel really guilty for going to India ONLY because there's so much work to be done at the school. I will have to absorb all the stress of getting ready for the new year in one week instead of two when I get back. But that is why I started work a few days early, so I have my bearings in my classroom.
I miss Lola terribly. There's a pang in my heart for her and I've only been able to start looking at her picture without crying last week. It's a deep loss. I really do feel like I'm mourning her. I know she's ok, but there's a part of me that feels how a Mother would feel giving up her unwanted child. I know it might seem silly to compare her to a human, but I feel the same emotion towards her as I do a human. She has given me so much happiness over the years and it's so much work to let go of the feeling of wanting her in Beijing with me. She's got nothing but love to give. And I love her for that.
Well, it's been nice staying at the Robarts' house. I am really grateful that I had this chance to stay somewhere while I looked around for a place to live. But I'm excited to go to India and then come back and be out of suitcases and in my own home for the next year!
2 comments:
Have a wonderful time at the wedding, my dear. I want to hear about the Chase-Grandma experience when you come back. ;o) I'm sure it will be full of memorable moments!
And my heart hurts for you in missing Lola. But part of me also believes she knows you did what was best, loves you, and will be waiting for you. Meanwhile, she'll be guarding your family for you-- especially Archie. She has a very important job to do while you are gone, and she knows it.
xoxo
Reading what you're feeling about Lola gave me a lump in my throat. I remember when Zach and I had to leave Theo with his parents for a whole summer before he moved to Arizona. I still remember exactly how Theo looked at us when we walked out the door without him and watched as we drove away. It felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. It's hard for some people to understand how attached someone can be to their dog, but believe me, I do! At least you know she is being taken care of, she is happy, and you will see her again.
On a happier note, I'm excited to find out the wedding plans! Don't forget to give your sister my contact info.
Love, j
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