Dropbacks

I decided to go to an Ashtanga class on Sunday. I found what I thought was the most authentic and reputable studio in town (based on their website and looking to see the upcoming workshops at the studio- not really a great and barely made it to class because I was stopped by some crazy hairdressers insisting that I needed a haircut). You see, some days, not very often in Beijing because the air is so dry here, I wear my hair curly. In Asia, that translates to = ugly hair. This guy and girl who had the standard Asian funky hairdos were telling me that they could do wonders for my hair if I would just pay them 30 kuai (less than $5). Alright, moving on.

The studio was alright and the class was going well. I am surprised how much my Anusara practice has helped my (little to nothing) Ashtanga practice. I am more grounded in technique. I don't feel floppy half way through the sequence. And basically I don't stress as much in the sequence as I used to. I have learnt to have a calm mind and just take it as it comes. It is more freeing.

We had gotten to dropbacks and I was ready to try them with assistance. For all you non-yoga readers, dropbacks are where you are standing and you lean backwards and end up on your hands in a wheel position.Then you stand back up. I motioned for the teacher to come and help me out. I did one and she suggested I was ready to try on completely on my own. I hesitated and she tried to encourage me. I tried another and this time she was really telling me I could do one on my own. I looked her in the face and made sure she was serious and would still stand right there. I went back and was about half way there when... thud... I landed on my head. I don't know what happened except that she wasn't right there. She apologized and told me she looked away. Even if it was for a second she did the worst thing you can do for your students.

I put my entire trust onto this one human being. I thought that even though she was a stranger to me, we could overcome that because of our love of yoga and well, because dropbacks are fun. My head didn't hurt nearly as much as my heart did the rest of the class. All these emotions came up about about trust, blind faith, and yoga teachers. I teared up for the rest of the sequence. And I promise I was trying so hard to make it stop. It wasn't really even crying so much as it was just raw emotion and feelings about what had just happened. I even thought about leaving the class but didn't want her to lose face.

So I will be attending her classes in the future because I want to give her another chance, but I am just so eager to better good yoga instruction. I was in a conversation with a Canadian on Monday about the Beijing yoga scene and apparently all the good teachers have moved to Hangzhou (closer to Shanghai). Interesting because that's where the AMI training centre has been set up. And in the past I have noticed that where ever there is good Montessori, there's good yoga. Just my theory... I'll keep you updated on our impending move to Hangzhou...haha.