Mysterious Ways

This morning I woke up and had a pity party for myself. I didn't leave the apartment all day yesterday and so the lack of Vitamin D mixed with the noise of people remodeling next door and being sick this past week compounded on top of everything and I just wallowed for about three hours. Chase tried a couple of times to reassure me and I wasn't exactly consolable. I am just plain homesick. I miss my dog, friends, family, familiarity, and the comforts of American life (we are so spoiled in the USA I can't even explain).

This time of year, being away from America and family is also tough. Thanksgiving is around the corner and it is my favorite celebration of the year. The air is crisp, the seasonal food available is hearty and flavorful, and everyone comes together. Chase and I are going up to Beijing this weekend to see friends so I hope that it will cheer me up. Besides that we just have to wait less than one month before we'll be back home for a visit.

In the afternoon, our school hosted a Harvest Party at school and I think that it came together very well. All the staff was helpful and pitched in where ever help was needed. We had games and activities for the children to do and I think that the families of our school had a good time getting to meet. There was tons of food which everyone enjoyed. A couple of people in a family of vegetarians had to leave early as there was nothing for them to eat besides fruit and bread. It's hard to plan the menu when it's potluck. We tried to have a sign-up list, but in China even if someone brings a vegetable side dish it will always have chunks of meat in it. So we will have to plan that better for next time. All in all, though everyone was relaxed and seemed to enjoy our first official school event! So I think I can pat myself on the back for putting that together.

I got some good leftovers to take home for Chase and as I was walking home I noticed a young teen on the sidewalk sitting up against a gated fence to one of the apartment buildings. Chase and I have a rule that we do not donate or give to beggars who have all four limbs and who seem to have a stable mind. It sounds crude, but I believe that if they have all those necessary requirements, then they can join the work force like the rest of us and that any amount of charity will not be what brings them out of their troubles. However, this child was not begging. His arms were wrapped so tightly around his bent legs, his eyes were worried, and I could tell that he was truly lost in this world. I reached into my bag and pulled out some food I was carrying home and gave it to him. He thanked me twice looking deeply into my eyes and I felt the thankfulness from his heart as I passed by. I hope that he is ok. I hope I gave him enough food. It was a protein, so I think that it should have nourished him for at least a day and I hope that he is able to make it in this world and have a peaceful life ahead of him.

It certainly took the spotlight off my troubles of this morning. I was whining and crying and I know I have problems like everyone else, but I've got it pretty good in the end. I have people around me who love me, a way to earn a living, and hobbies and interests that I am pretty proficient at. It is just that somewhere down the line, I have forgotten how strong I am. I have forgotten me since we came to China 15 months ago and it's time to find that inner strength again. I am coming up with a plan on how to do this as I currently work full time so rededicating my efforts to my personal growth is going to take some tricky scheduling and maneuvering so stay tuned.